Week Three, December 2013 ~ Swiss Cheese is Awesome!

Huffington Post’s section for women boasts the following:   “A women’s take on news, relationships, sex, work, culture, friends, family, body image and other things that matter.” However, it’s ever apparent that the things that HPW sees as “things that matter” to women aren’t always what women themselves think matter. Be prepared to see me rant about some of them here.

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Okay, I know this one is not actually from the third week in December but I just want to give a quick “FUCK YOU, Swiss cheese is awesome” to HuffPo Women. Seriously. Who the hell are you to call me a liar? More importantly who are you to judge people based on the freakin’ cheese they eat anyway. What a stupid blog. Anyhoo, moving on…

Why HuffPo Women’s interpretation of Pantene’s gender inequality ad is total bullshit: Okay, so obviously the person who wrote this feels that the message doesn’t really apply to her. Does that mean that every woman on the planet should be offended by the message it is handing out? No. I will grant her that it’s probably not the best way to let women know that, as a company Pantene is sympathetic to the plight of inequality (especially in a male-dominated corporate world). That being said, has it been effective? Yes, it certainly has. After all, it made it to the Facebook page of an angry blogger who also owns a page called “Witty + Pretty” ~ a website that thought that while Pantene’s sympathy to the inequality of women was bad but the now viral commercial showing men in their underwear jingling a popular holiday tune isn’t at all sexualising men. I wonder if she would have been so thrilled with that commercial if it displayed women with bells hanging from sparkly bikini tops jiggling to the same holiday tune? My suggestion? Ease off Pantene. When it comes to issues like equality, I would almost guarantee they were at the very least advised by a woman during the production of that commercial. In the meantime, if you want to cry about equality then you should pay more attention to what’s posted on your own website. Right now you kind of look like a hypocrite. The best part of it all? HuffPost Women already posted a blog applauding the damn commercial!

HuffPo Women Hates Weddings…which is odd, considering there is a section of HuffPost that’s specifically for weddings. Don’t even get me started on the section offering advice about divorce. I’ll leave that to fellow HuffPost hater, Kate Surthwaite who spares no fuel when igniting her opinion of the bloggers and their “advice” for people coming out of ending marriages (follow link here and here). However, for all you ladies dreaming about having your families gather together on what is supposed to be your happiest day to help you celebrate and look on as you give your vows HuffPost Women blogger says “screw you”. While we are at it, no more baby showers especially you teen mothers who need to know that you won’t be alone in this monstrous event. You were foolish enough to get knocked up, you don’t deserve to have your friends and family gather to celebrate one of the biggest events in your life either. Also, since you are a wealthy teen you can buy your own shit. I will concede that forcing your friends to fly to Hawaii to don a tacky taffeta gown that they will only ever get to put on again for Halloween or a fancy dress party (that’s a costume party if you are in the states) is fairly crass. However, there isn’t a guarantee that any marriage will last, so asking (even in jest) for said friend to reimburse you for the money you willingly spent to go to Hawaii (be honest, you wanted to fly to the islands anyway) is even tackier.

At least this one doesn’t hide that it’s written by a guy. I’m of the opinion that a lot of the blogs written for/posted by HuffPo Women are actually written my somewhat misogynistic dudes who have no freaking clue what women actually want to hear about. Seriously, I often expect to see a post some day with nothing but pics of college girls in lingerie having pillow fights and making out, or some “advice” post describing a scene best fit for the mail section of a certain nudie magazine. However, I shall digress. In this case, the guy in question is talking about Lulu, an ap for women to rate guys that they have dated. Now, the issue with this is that if an ap like this were to be created for guys (there IS probably one for all I know) to rate the women that they have dated, HuffPo would likely be within the first in line to lead the charge against every guy who had even scoped out the site, let alone actually used it. So why is a page geared at women promoting it’s use? I suppose we are supposed to accept that, since a guy is using it and actually learned that he was being a doofus in public and changed his behaviour that it’s okay to reduce people to a numbered scale. Sorry, I don’t care. Not that I don’t care about him learning a lesson, I’m thrilled for whomever is lucky enough to end up dating him after he stopped swearing during a fancy meal. I just can’t believe that no woman ever said, “hey, do you think you  could leave the sailor-speak for a more appropriate time…like when there isn’t a violin accompanying our meal?”

HuffPo Women learns the wrong lesson…again. First off, let me say that I really hate the term “selfie” so this will likely be the only time you see me use it. This week, the world came to a screeching halt because POTUS Obama was caught posing for a “selfie” with the English Prime Minister  and the Danish Prime Minister (who happens to be a white, blond woman…gasp!). Now the photo shows the three of them preparing to take a photo on the Danish PM’s mobile phone during a memorial celebration of Nelson Mandella. That’s right, celebration (as opposed to funeral). Now, well before HuffPo’s wretched blog shaming Obama for his “antics”, the actual photographer was quoted saying that the initial response to the photo was wrong. Michelle Obama wasn’t angry about her husband’s actions. Quite the contrary, she had been laughing and conversing with everyone just before the camera captured  the now infamous shot. However, this didn’t stop the blogger from attempting to send a cyber-high five to Mrs. Obama for “letting the world know her feelings MATTER”…except that the blogger has no real idea what her feelings actually are. Hooray for HuffPo Woman for making assumptions about another person’s feelings and ignoring evidence. The tactful thing to do would be to tack on an update to your assumption, accepting that you were wrong and offering an apology for attempting to interfere in another woman’s marriage. I won’t hold my breath though.

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